AJ was competing in the Elite 4 category and trying to earn his last few points for his CAT 3 upgrade. It was a last minute decision really. We didn't have a TT bike so I figured I'd just register him for the crit and circuit races. He came to me and asked if he could do the Omnium, I couldn't say no. With just a few hours to spare, I reg'd him then immediately posted to both my team and the DBC list serve's asking if anyone had a TT rig he could borrow. The response I received from the DBC list serve was unexpected, and amazing. In the end, EOB (Eric O'Brien) a teammate of mine came through with the bike, and local Pro Paul Mach came through with a set of wheels. AJ was in awe. "There's 3 World Championships on these wheels!" Paul said as he handed the wheels off to AJ. He was enchanted, as if he'd had some sort of pixie dust sprinkled on him, he didn't walk back to the truck, he floated. He didn't say a word the entire drive home, just sat there, smiling. We got home and he disappeared into the garage.
AJ's never been on a true, bona fide TT bike, neither have I for that much, never been able to afford one really. He hasn't even had his clip-ons on since last year so I was worried he'd trash himself. The Time Trial is such a different animal all together and he'd spent ZERO time working on it this year. I was worried he'd do more damage to his psyche than anything else.
I walk into the garage after a few hours. AJ's focused. He's oblivious to everything around him. Cleaning, lubeing, coddling his new toy, a loaner, but his, if just for the next few days. I sit there for a moment, watching, smiling. "Hey bud." He looks up, the resolute look on his face quickly changed to a warm, lighthearted smile as he seemed to exhale every ounce of intensity and anxiousness and breathe for the first time since escaping to the garage some 2 hours earlier. It was as if I'd caught him doing something that he new he shouldn't be, but, at the same time, knowing I wouldn't be mad at him for it. "Time for bed bud." "I'm almost done." he replied. "It's late bud, don't worry, it'll be ready by tomorrow." He quickly wipes the bottom side of the downtube running his rag from the bottom of the head tube down to the bottom bracket giving a few extra scrubs to the bottom bracket housing. Looked back up to me, smiled, then threw the rag to the work bench and walks past me and into the house. Usually we just exchange "Goodnight's" and that's it, off to bed. But this evening, he catches me completely by surprise, startles me really. He walks up to me and gives me the biggest hug. It felt foreign.
We stopped hugging and giving "see ya later kisses" back when he was 12. I used to drop him off at the bus stop before heading to work. One day, instead of a hug and a kiss on the cheek, he sat in the passenger seat, looked at me with an uneasy look on his face and said, "Ok Dad, I'll see you later." and waited for my reply. Time stood still. It too took me by surprise. I looked at him, focused on his big blue eyes and over his left shoulder I could see his friends watching. I smile, he smiles back. He understands, that I understand. "Ok bud, have a good day. I love you man." In relief he says, "Love you too Dad." Opens the door, gets out, and closes it without looking back. I was a little devastated to be honest. Took a deep breath and drove to work. Cat's in the Cradle started playing in my head. The day was a bit darker.
His arms wrapped around my shoulders, I felt so small. I wrapped my arms under his and after a second, remembered. "There's my boy" I thought to myself. "There's my little buddy." My heart smiled as I chuckled over his shoulder, "You're excited huh?" "Hyeah, I am." he chuckled back. "Me too." "I love you." "See you in the morning." "G'night bud." "Love you too, g'night Dad."
Off to the garage I went.
I take his bike off the trainer, put the talismanic disc on the rear, and off he goes to the start line. I frantically throw everything in the truck, lock it up, and jump on AJ's bmx bike and pedal my ass off trying to make it to the start line before he goes off. In flip-flops, sweating my butt off, I ride by, offering words of encouragement to my teammates who are warming up, as I pass them. "AJ looked sick in the Rock Kit!" a teammate says. AJ doesn't have a skin suit and was going to borrow one from Cody, his teammate. When we picked up the suit, we both noticed it was ripped. He'd gone down in it. Bad Mojo. I could see AJ's eye's fill with anxiety. I grab my skin suit from behind my seat and throw it to him. Grinning from ear to ear, "Awe coool Dad!" Felt like Mean Joe Green throwing that kid his jersey for giving him his coke. I was stoked. I secretly wanted him to wear it anyway, which is why I brought it. He did look sick!
I fly by the registration table, field a few comments from friends a acquaintances in reference to my geeked out TT ride and hammer my way to the start line. I'm pedaling frantically down the right side of the canal, must have been averaging about 150 cadence, hugging the shoulder so as not to interfere with people warming up. A fellow cyclist comes up along side me and says, "NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO WARM UP!" Absolutely scared the living shit out of me and sent me flailing into the ditch. "OH SHIT!" I reply as I careen down the trough of the ditch from one side to the other before regaining control and easing my way out of it. Frazzled I look up and see AJ thundering off. "F#&%!" At the time I had no idea what had transpired before they released him. I ride up to the finish line where I wait, impatiently. After about 20 minutes and 10,000 strained looks up the road, there he comes. I run about 30 yards up from the finish line and scream, "DIG!" as he flies past me tucked, every muscle in his body straining to get as small as he could possibly get. He grips the aero bars, his legs crash down on the pedals with every rotation, his knees brushing the top tube, fully adorned in his Haka face, he crosses the line.
I jump on the bmx bike and off I go, again, spinning so fast I'm bobbing, trying to catch up to him. I ride up beside him, he wants nothing to do with me. He ride's up ahead, glancing back at me, avoiding me. He's upset. "Hey!" I yell. Nothing. "HEY!" again, nothing. "AJ!" He finally looks back. "Slow down!" We get back to the start line, ride passed everyone before he slows enough for me to ride up next to him and starts to tell me what happened.
Apparently, as the guys at the bike shop gave him a last minute fitting the night before the TT, they locked out the rear deraileur effectively giving him Jr. gears, or so we thought. Well, when we put the "Talismanic" Paul Mach rear wheel on, it had different gearing which made him over geared. Not by much, but enough for him to be deemed illegal. They've let him race with similar gearing in the past, so I was more than just a little upset. Well, they just kept him there, not really sure what to do. His # came and passed. He sat there shattered, as the seconds ticked by. Finally he asked what the heck was going on. The officials looked at each other and said, well, we might as well let him go. So, a full minute after his official start time, they release him. I went to the official, who was listening to no one. Asked him what was going to happen. After my 3rd attempt to get an answer or even be acknowledged, he said, "Well, his time is his time and there's nothing we could do." "But you held him a full minute and a half before releasing him!" I said. "Yeah, well, we shouldn't have released him at all!" Can't argue with that I guess. I had AJ roll his bike over to the official taped rollout line for Jr's, and sure enough, he was over...barely. So, I looked at AJ and said, "Don't worry about it bud!" You can't use Omnium points towards your upgrade anyway, we'll just focus on Crit and the Circuit. It did little to ease his frustration.
We arrive in plenty of time for a good warm up for the crit the next day. I've got 6 teammates in the top 10 of the GC's in 2 different categories, so I register for the Elite 3 crit as well as the Masters 123's, but that's a different story all together.
AJ spends the majority of the race no less than 4-5 wheels from the front and most of it, in the wind closing gaps and chasing the whole pack back on to break attempts and primes. As a result, he comes in somewhere in the top 20 for the sprint. After sitting there watching him work, I had a feeling that this was going to happen judging by his body language and the look on his face throughout the race. His mom was there making matters worse. It's not often that she comes to watch, and when she does, he wants so badly to do well that often times he goes out too hard, too fast and overcooks himself. This day was no different. Oh well, all we can do now is hope for a good showing at the Circuit race the next day.
I made the mistake of not signing him up for the Jr's Crit and I wasn't going to make the same mistake this day. Though it was a much harder race I knew that AJ wanted to redeem himself for the previous days performance. It was going to be a long day. His first race was at 10:20 and his last race wasn't until 5:15. We make our way through the traffic, surprised that there's so much so early in the day. We're lucky. As soon as we pull into the jam packed parking lot there's a huge SUV just leaving. We're just across form the Start/Finish. AJ bolts out of the truck and over to registration. He's already signed up for he E4 Omnium, so the Jr race will only be $10. We're rushing, trying to get him ready. We both know that he's running late, but we purposely avoid mentioning it so as not to freak him out. Just then, Cody rides up, "Dude, are you doing the Jr's with me!?!" "You'd better hurry!" We both turn and snap at the kid, basically telling him to shut up! In stereo it comes out much worse than either of us intended. Poor kid.
Have I told you how much I love watching this kid race? I'm watching from about 50' away. Far enough to be unattached, yet close enough to still see the expressions on their faces. They're all sitting at the start line waiting for the whistle. They're announcing the top 3 kids in the Jr's Omnium and AJ's applauding and congratulating the younger riders as they make their way to the front. Most of the older Jr's are registered in their respective Category Omnium's so they're just doing this race as an add on like AJ and Cody. I sit there watching, still amazed at this young man sitting on his top tube looking all grown up, all serious. He looks familiar, he resembles the little boy that I used to know, that used to be full of questions and used to look up to, and at me. Who used to watch and study my actions, my words, and try and emulate them. He glances over at me, all serious and focused. I give him a nod and that little boy emerges for just a brief moment and flashes a big smile. I find comfort knowing that I can still see that in him. Something that no one else can see. Often times I sit and watch others around him watching him. They can't see it...but I can.
I spend the majority of the race running from the Start/Finish line to the fence that runs along the side of the overpass where I could see the boys round the last corner after the 180 and hammer down the onramp to the bridge cheering my boy on. He sits around mid pack for the majority of the race and is doing a wonderful job of staying hidden. I see him closing a few gaps here and there, but he's looking much more comfortable today as opposed to yesterday. The pack blows through the start finish and I hear voices from everywhere cheering my boy on. Cody, his teammate is doing a fine job of stringing things out, forcing the selection to be made. They come around for the final lap and AJ's sitting comfortable right around 6th wheel. They round the last corner and all at once I see a kid in a white kit jump, then another kid jumps and AJ follows. He's a little late in his reaction but still manages to make up some ground as he throws his bike around in what seems to be a full body conniption and grabs a solid 3rd place. Saweet! I'm all welled up with pride as I realize that it's AJ's first podium in his bike racing career. I'm overcome. I run up and give him the biggest hug. I'm so proud I can't even handle it. I have no words...believe it or not. Everybody's congratulating him. All of my teammates both new and old all come through at one time or another congratulating, patting him on the back, hugging, high fiving...it's awesome!
So we're sitting beside the truck relaxing after his first race when Justin and Chad walk up. After racing with Chad in the E3 crit the day before and moving him from 3rd to 2nd in the overall standings I was undecided about a 2nd day of near back to back efforts. My legs were still tired. In the end, I let Justin talk me out of doing the E3 Circuit, a decision that I'd later regret. But again, that's another story.
His 2nd race also happened to be the last race of this years festivities. Most people had left, but there's still a fairly large crowd. My race had just ended so AJ was going to have to get warmed up and be to the line without any help from Dad. I wasn't worried. Dawn had come out with Isabel so I knew that she'd make sure he was good to go. Not that AJ couldn't take care of himself, but making sure that every things put away and locked up so nothing "walks off" is another thing. It's nice having someone there to help with all of that.
He managed to stay "hidden" for the most part in the Jr's race which is why he was able to podium, but being that it was his 2nd race of the day in a faster, larger field he wasn't expecting anything spectacular. I'm standing at the Start/Finish cooling down with Judd, Eric, Carol irving, and Heather, Judd's girlfriend. It's so cool listening and watching all the people who've come to know my boy fairly well these past few years cheer him on every time he passes. It's a little overwhelming to be honest with you. Looking around at not only all of our friends, but many folks who know him that I've never met. I realize that AJ's had a lasting effect on lots of these people. Some are parents of kids he's helped mentor, and some are parents of kids he's raced against all season. I can't tell you how many times I've been approached by perfect strangers asking me if I'm AJ's Dad. "Yes, I am" I say with a smile as they proceed to tell me about my son and the impression he's made or the effect he's had on their child. I'm telling you, it's times like these that really afford me the opportunity to appreciate the things that matter the most. All of the trials and troubles that life brings seem to pale and, at least in that moment, fall by the wayside and are in fact inconsequential. Just as he did in his earlier race, I watch as he stays right around mid pack and easily rolls by lap after lap. In fact, he's doing such a good job of "staying hidden" that I don't even see him a few times, causing Dad's heart rate to spike unnecessarily! Dang it!
I hear them announce "One lap to go!" My heart's pumping, adrenaline is off the charts. I run to the side of the road, about 60 meters up from the Start/Finish line and wait. I've chewed a hole right into the inside of my lower lip from all the excitement. All bunched up, they round the last corner and explode towards the Start/Finish line. At first I can't see AJ, but all at once, I see him. He's huge! He fire's out from behind a wheel like a chained Rottwieler, not looking anything like that little boy I used to know. He's a Beast...a rabid animal, sweating, spitting grunting, foaming at the mouth hunched over his bike violently throwing it from side to side pouring himself over the handlebars. I'm waving my arms in the air like a crazy chicken screaming, "DIG, DIG, DIG!" as he fly's past me. I hear the sound that we all hate to hear. It's worse than nails scraping across a black board, worse than teeth grinding, worse than utensils scraping the bottom of a plate over and over again. It's the sound of rubber, precious metals, carbon, and human flesh impacting the ground at an accelerated rate of speed. It's happening right in front of me not 8" away and misses be by less than that...but I can't be bothered, every ounce of my attention is focused on my son as he hurls his body and bike down the road. It's not until I see him cross the Finish line unscathed and at the front of the pack that my attention goes to the young man laying just 10 ft. from me. I rush over, pick his bike up, reattach his Power Tap computer, lay it to the side of the road. He's already being attended to by a few others and I hear a gentleman proclaim that he's his son. Been there, not a happy feeling. It's down right frightening in fact. It's not until I make my way across the road and to AJ that I find that he missed the top spot on the podium by just a few inches.
Again, I'm absolutely overwhelmed, not only by the fact that it's his 2nd podium of the day, but by the amount of people that are approaching him, congratulating, hugging, high fiving him...it's a feeling that I could definitely get used to. JB's there, Judd, EOB, and Mike Jacques, a new teammate comes up, gives him a huge hug, grabbing AJ's shoulders coming out of the hug, turns to me and says, "Dude, I don't even have kids, but this so awesome, I'm so proud!" Totally cool man! Tow-ta-lly cool! Good thing I've got glasses on. They can't see my eyes well up with tears. With the amount of people hollering at AJ, you'd have thought he won it. He looks at me with the biggest smile I think I've ever seen. We embrace each other squeezing and not wanting to let go. After the podium ceremony he comes up and pats me on the back so hard that my Blackberry goes flying out of my hand and into 4 pieces once it hits the ground...I don't even care. Not only did he grab 2nd in the race, but managed to pull himself into 4th place in the Omnium...3 podiums in one day. Perspective? If that doesn't give you a little....I don't know what will.
Thanks for reading.
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